Defining your style

You love all things elegant and proper. You can arrange both uniqueflowers and an upsweeping hairstyle, can recite at length without forgetting your place, and were born to wear taffeta. Martha Stewart is your icon.
Then again, maybe not. Traditional matrimony shines with such a patina of propriety, it may seem difficult to squeeze in any trace of your individual style. If you cherish the pomp, the attention, and the role-playing, by all means immerse yourself in tradition. However, couples who want their weddingto reflect their personal pizzazz should take the conventional template and run with it. Here are some easy ways to make your wedding unique
Vows: Don't want the tried-and-true, even without the obsolete "to obey , Blah Blah recite a poem that reflects your love for each other, or read quotes from an author you both adore.
Venue: Let your place of matrimony reflect your personality and use great wedding favors to tie it all together. For example, couples who hike or kayak together can celebrate their love of nature by joining at their favorite meadow or put-in point; art lovers can tie the knot in a museum's sculpture garden or people who love the beach can have a beach wedding.
Music: Don't care for the ponderous sounds of "The Wedding March?" Hand the organist the score to your favorite classical piece, hire a band to play those cocktail tunes you and your gang love to groove to, or have a guitar-playing friend strum a love song.
Details: Creative couples can design their own favors, programs, floral arrangements, and other special touches, drawing upon their interests, heritage, or simply what they like. A '40s-styletheme wedding, a bolero wedding march, a canine ring-bearer: the distinction is in the details.
Setting the Style
The giddiness from the engagement is mellowing, and your feet have reestablished contact with the earth. Now the work begins. Even before you pick a date for the big day, you'll want to decide on what kind of wedding you want. The following are only a sampling of what you can do while saying "I do." What suits the two of you?
Traditional: For lovers of ceremony and spectacle, this is the ultimate walk down the aisle. A multitude of attendants, formal vows, a hushed audience, and a flowing bridal train.
Formal: Sophisticated and serene in tone, a formal wedding reflects the couple's exquisite tastes. The setting can be an elegant restaurant or ballroom; the atmosphere, the classical sounds of a string quartet.
Casual: A backyard bring-together, a favorite public garden, your grandmother's living room: this is the stuff of cozy, casual weddings. A relaxed affair is generally the easiest on the budget--and the nerves.
Fun: Swap Mendelssohn for Elvis and have a clambake reception, make it a Roaring '20s or vintage rock & roll costume party, or get medieval on marriage and host your own Renaissance Fair.
Ethnic: Frame your wedding in traditional customs and broaden the moment into a celebration of your families' heritage, à la My Big Fat Greek Wedding or Monsoon Wedding.
Natural: Wear wildflowers in your hair and lapel as you exchange vows under the summer sky; follow with an organic, vegetarian-friendly dinner. Plant a tree as a symbol of your steadfast love.
Way out: As seen on your local news show: swapping rings while skydiving or bungee jumping, atop your favorite roller-coaster ride, or underwater at a dive park. Not for the faint of heart
Used to be, a second weddingwas a quiet affair: small numbers, modest venue, the hushed acknowledgment of an older and wiser you. What's wiser now is our outlook on remarriage--it's a new chapter, a new love and commitment, and it should be celebrated as such. Whatever you dreamed of for your first wedding applies to your second (or, for that matter, any subsequent marriage), so if you want to, wear that white dress! Book that cavernous hall! There are no longer any societal rules dictating what's acceptable and what's a nuptial no-no.
Encore newlyweds-to-be typically pay for their own wedding, which will also let you off the hook in terms of expectations. You may wish to be more lighthearted or creative, and why not? First time around, you were young and playing by the book. Now you're in the know, and you've developed your own distinct style. This is the time to showcase it: wear that shade of rose that suits you so well, or your favorite sports jacket. Get wed at a national park, and have a camp-out reception. Got kids? Gather them together as your attendants, or have your son "give away" the bride. Have a chocolate-tasting instead of a shower, and ask for donations to charities in lieu of gifts, or request specific items to fill the gaps in your household. The bottom line is, you are older and wiser. The rules are relaxed. You should be, too.